The reason this particular topic
has been playing on my mind of late is because I am pregnant with my second
child, and while I had no intention of having another shower more than a few
friends and family members have either offered to throw me a shower, mentioned
excitedly they are looking forward to my (assumed) upcoming shower or have
simply inquired as to if I am indeed planning another one.
So I decided to hit the internet
in search of what is actually the proper etiquette in regards to second baby
showers and as to what other opinions really are.
The idea of second baby showers
is relatively new and from my different searches on the topic online, I’ve
found many varying (yet firm) opinions on the topic. Most people’s opinions
seem to fall into three categories. Category 1. believe that a second shower is
a big no-no, and often associate it as being tacky and just greedy. Category 2.
think that you shouldn’t have a second shower, but there are exceptions to this
like there being a substantial gap
between children, new baby with a new partner or if the second child is the
opposite sex to the first etc. Category 3.tend to think it’s perfectly fine to
have a shower for every new child as it’s ultimately a celebration of the new
addition.
I fall into the second group of
people based on these 3 basic group distinctions. I personally have always saw
baby showers as something for first babies and thus first time mums (and dads).
A second (or subsequent) shower particularly with such short gap between
children in a lot of ways just made the
parents seem a bit greedy, but I was thinking of a shower primarily in terms of
the gifting part. However I do believe in exceptions to this, I don’t agree
with every ‘exception’ people have, primarily I see it as alright if there is a
substantial gap between the newest addition and your previous child. A second
shower can therefore be handy as its likely you would have got rid all those
baby things you once had. Whereas I disagree with having a second shower just
because you are having a child of the opposite sex, to me you still have most the
necessities and if you insist on dressing your child in gender specific
clothing those are easy enough to accumulate yourself during pregnancy.
So etiquette wise, is having a
second baby shower improper?
While some of the different
authors I read suggest it is bad etiquette, from my own research and deductions
I deduced that it’s really not bad etiquette to have a second or subsequent
shower. A baby shower is not hosted by mum, it’s hosted by family or friends
and if they want to throw you a shower why not let them. While the idea of “showering”
a mum evokes images of physical gifts being given, really the showering could
simply mean showering her in love and attention and celebrating the impending
new addition to the world.
So after diving through all of
this information, reading through various opinions on the matter and
reconsidering my own perspectives on the topic, I have changed my mind
substantially on the idea of having a second baby shower. I now am not so
against the idea of baby showers for
second (or subsequent) children, but for me it needs to be on the proviso that
(despite those situational exceptions) that the “shower” involved is more to do
with love, attention and just celebrating the new addition over necessarily
being “showered” with gifts. While some people will always buy a gift, I would
only see a second shower as appropriate if there wasn’t any expectation of a
gift other than a person’s presence at the shower.
So internets, what is your
personal opinion of people having a second baby shower?
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