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We as humans are not solely logical beings. Try as we may, all our endeavours, pursuits and even daily habits are influenced in same varying degree by our emotional needs, wants and desires. This is no more greatly apparent than in the context of our relationships with others. We all have had them at some point in our lives- a backstabbing friend, a cheating partner, simply put a “toxic” relationship. While logically or rationally you would think that you would sever ties from people such as this, it’s not as simple as it seems. Unfortunately as humans the well of emotion runs deep, and it’s not as easy as switching off your feelings when something like this happens.
The logical and the emotional responses to these people is never as clear cut as we would like to assume. For example, for some people if a friend lies and says things behind their back, they will end the friendship. While their feelings for the person haven’t necessarily changed the hurt associated with a betrayal of the friendship forces them to end it. But for other people with a friend like this, they decide to remain in the friendship, usually with a hope that any issues can be worked through and that they can ultimately return to having the same relationship as before. Trying to ultimately forgive the toxicity, and move on.
Another example is; when asked what they would do if they found their partner cheating, something like 9 out of 10 women said they would leave me. Walk out the door, kick them out, and basically sever all ties. But as we all know it’s not nearly as simple as that. This isn’t necessarily the first reaction one would have if they found out a partner had cheated. Your emotional investment in a person isn’t rendered null and void from your discovery, instead a catacomb of other emotions would flood you- confusion, anger, hate, jealously, self-pity... the list goes on. The logical choice then is then blurred by the emotion tidal wave and many people are left with the decision. Which way is the best way to keep myself afloat.
So how are we meant to know what is the right thing to do in such situations?? How do we keep ourselves afloat? It seems corny but really it’s a decision left to your heart- as well as your head. It’s up to you and you alone! The only thing you can do is try and be completely honest with yourself, decide what you feel and think is best for you and act. Sounds simple but it’s far from it!
While you may feel a need to ask people for advice, they will tell you what they think is the best (i.e. usually the most logical) course of action, usually telling you what they assume they would do if in a similar situation. But in reality no one know exactly what you’re going through and feeling, some may sympathise and have shared similar situations, but ultimately it comes down to what you and just you need, want and think. I’m not saying don’t take on peoples advice if that’s what you want, I’m just saying don’t take on peoples advice simply to avoid facing your own reality.
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